People don`t voice out their opinions or feelings.
As much as I am the black sheep and resident rebel, the main thing that I don`t do is voicing out my thoughts.
Well, I did once before and got a smack right in the face.

You may think that you know me.
But sadly, none of ya`ll ever do.
Ya`ll have always judged me for being a spoilt girl who gets whatever she wants.
But let`s define your "whatever", shall we?
Material goods, right?
Material goods are secondary to me.
It makes me feel happy for a while.
What I crave the most from my parents is usually their attention.
By which, I get it in the wrong way possible.
I get their attention when I disobey them.
Like running away from home, I only got their attention for a mere hour.
I`ve always wondered if I`m in the wrong family and my real family is just waiting for me.
I doubt they knew about my counseling days.
I doubt they even care.
I guess what matters the most to them is that I`m alive and outta trouble.
I get good grades to shift their attention towards me.
Being the 3rd child with another younger brother is tough.
My eldest brother has got mommy by his side and my sister is daddy`s girl.
My younger brother has got the affection of both being the youngest.
For me, I`m just the girl who is the black sheep and humiliation.
Now that my sister has got a FT job, its back to mom nagging at me but doing nothing.
My mom is damn funny. She nags at me but when I tell her of my plans, she just snorts.
As far as I am concerned, my parents never believed in me.
They gave me tuition because I wanted it.
I don`t remember them ever saying "its okay, as long as you`ve tried your best."
They`d just be happy when I come home with good grades and be mad when I come home with Fs.
You don`t know how hard I`d always try to get their attention.
When my sister was in Adelaide, their attention were focused on her.
When my sister calls, I don`t get a hello or salutations, I get fucked `cause she had to spend one hour to hear my mom talking about me.
My brother couldn`t care less.
All he cares is that I am alive and well.
He tells me to be responsible when he is just a bloody hypocrite.
They tell me that I am an expensive and spoilt girl.
Don`t they know that what I want the most is just the same treatment they get.
Each time, I try so hard to measure up.
To make them proud and not be overshadowed by someone else`s achievements.
I feel like such a loser.
For letting all these silly feelings get to me.
Five other people in a house is lively for some.
But, its never for me.
With my grandma gone and my bestfriend M.I.A, I`ve never felt so alone before.

Baby, Let's kill the one thing that I love;


The performances were funny,
entertaing though.
What sucks was that wherever I went, there would always be something associated with him.
Gosh, I miss dancing.
I've been doing it since in primary school days.
haha, I was a malaydancer-cum-netballer.
I remembered having to dance for public performances.
LOL, and that Indian dance.
haha, it was hilarious.
I miss dancing every bit.
My malaydance teacher used to say that I pick up steps very fast. ^-^
daaaaaaaaaamn, I hate this feeling.
I hate no being able to do something cos of him.
shuckks,


Call me crazy;
A conversation gone wrong;


Yan; Dhai, i wanna forget her ah.
Me; okay, forget lah.
a few seconds later..
Yan; She ignored me on msn sia.
Me; I would too if I were her. zzzt.


HAHAHA.
THIS IS LIKE MY 3RD POST.
I'M DRINKING STARBUCKS ZEN TEA.
THEY SHOULD LIKE ASK ME TO BE THEIR PROMOTER OR SOMETHING.
LMAO. ^-^
I edited this for i-dunno-how-many-times.


I really can't bear to do something that you're so in love with;
and so, the passion should die.


I'm currently munching on Starbucks' cookies.
HAHAHAHAHA, I can grow fat with no work on weekdays. :D
anywaaaaay,
I'm trying to make the stupid USB cable work so I can upload pictures.
tskkk, =.=
I wanted to blog fr fun.
yay, okeh bye.




P.S. haveeeeeeeeent get clothes la! grr.
I'm super gaduper lazy to post pictures!
BUTTTTTTTT, i'll do it soon okeh. :D


Hee, yesterday was an outing with Girlf; Natty.
Headed to Parkway for latelate lunch at LJS,
walk2 around cos we wanted to look for things on Vday thingy. LOL.
Finally, headed to Starbucks to get my dosage of Raspberry Blacktea Latte.
BUUUUUUUUUUT, the barista didn't even put any raspberry.
and I couldn't taste it at first cos it was hot and i thought there's something wrong with my tastebud. $7 lehhh ~~
Cheat my feelings okeh, DON'T go to Starbucks Parkway.
PFFFFT, STUPID BARISTA~
Anywaaaaaaay, bus-ed to Rasa21 for family dinner.
It was what I expected it to be.
but I still had fun with my nieces & nephews. =.=


Today; had madrasah and went out with my family.
Ate lunch and dinner outside.
After which, met up with Aliman.
I swear he's like freaking late la everytime. pfffffffft~
OHHHH, NAQ TOLD ME THAT STEPUP 2 IS GONNA BE IN THEATRES ON 14FEB.
SOMEONE CAN DATE ME AND TREAT ME TO THAT PLEASEEEEEEEEE? ^-^


I want Raspberry Blacktea Latte pleaaaaaaaaase? ):
Starbucks Delivery laaaaa~

Lethargy is consuming me,
and I haven't been doing anything rough or tiring today.
I've been thinking long and hard about things,
I've never come across this kind of situation before.
I guess thats because I can always persuade people into doing what I want,
& as Farhan Superman said, "You're good at playing mind games eh"
Jarnah also said, "Whenever you ask pple to do something, especially with yr 'please' eh. very hard to say no." Rofl.
I've never been in a situation whereby I'm supposed to coax a person.
Let me put it this way, it has always been the other way around.
God, Help me please.


I'm so new to this kind-of things. ):
At the end of the day, I'm only human yknow.
I'm no more wondergirl.


Alright mates;
February is coming up,
& let's just say that there's alot of thing up on my calender. lmao~


Firstly, I just lost my ATM card. pfffft.
But I think that I just misplaced it somewhere in my super messy room.
HAHAHA, I think that I really need to clean it up but hell, I'm darn lazy. xP


Secondly, there's alot of occassions.
and payday is not until 7th! How to get the money?
I should go and rob a bank, rofl.


Thirdlyyyyy, My Vday date is -wait for it- my telly & a bunch of daisies. xD
If anyone wants to date me, please remember that I want Daisies & Chocolates.
&&& if you want to be super generous, I'd like a hugeeeeee tub of B&J's! (:
Thaaaaaankyou yeah. teehee!


Lastly, I'm psyched for parties yo!
heh, better than nothing right?
I'm so bored at home that I can die.
But hey, at least I still got things to do.
So, I do, in a way, have a life. :D


I think that there should be Starbucks Delivery.
I'll always start msn conversations with,
"Eh helloh, I want Starbucks Delivery please"
ThankGod there's still people who tolerate my crap. ^.^




Okeeeeeeeh, I need to go present-hunting.
cheeeeeeeerios! <3