my life has been a waste.
i've been wasting my precious time.
foolishly chatting, blogging and what not.

my POA test was a failure.
my english was oh-so disappointing.
to think that i failed the subject that i love most.
the subject that i'm good at. argh.
and i'm going to flunk my geography test.
i admit that i haven't been serious about my studies.
i know that it is jus 9 fucking months away. the mega exam.
the exam that is going to determine my future.
and by that, its a big deal. cos my whole future in singapore is at stake.
oh god, please let it be that i'll stay here. ( and btw, this isn't some dramatic thing. this is the real deal.)

as exasperating as it seems, i don't think i've changed.
i'm still the same fractious dhaifina.
the same dhaifina who is too insouciant to care about anything else.
the same cheeky, pathetic girl who is crude in her answers.
i'm still the same.
and it bloody sucks.
i want to change. i know self-acceptance is necessary but..
i don't want to be too opinionated, neither do i want to be disregard.

my thoughts are making my brain dead.
my mind feels like goo.

maybe that's what i am. an empty vessel.
all talk and no work done. i tell people to do this and do that, giving them an advice.
yet, i don't even follow my own advice, much less others.
thats it. ME, dhaifina dasri is just an empty vessel.
not less, not more.
there's no way i'm ever gonna go to SP.
not even JC.
mybe i'm destined for the worst.




i consider my dreams dead.
bt chipsmore is making me smile again. =)