Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Can't you see?
i'm going nuts. pfft.
Things are going not as planned.
everything is super fucked-up.
tell me; how can i study in this horrid conditions?
why am i feeling dejected?
why am i doing something which i have little confidence in?
why am i even telling you all these?
i'll tell you why.
I'm going crazy.
i'm an 0'level student;
yet, i'm acting as if its no big deal.
i'm acting as though i'm not scared.
i am! i am!
why am i feeling this way?
everytime i think of the O'levels,
my heart beats faster and my mind goes blank.
tell me, is this call pressure?
Whenever i think of the results of the O'levels,
i always wonder what my reaction would be like.
would i be crying? or smiling with joy?
would i be suprised or shocked?
pressure is getting to me.
i feel ohso weak now.
call me the weakling. pfft.
another thing;
(with reference to Meutia's blog)
i get what she's trying to say.
and i teared the 2nd time i read it.
i guess when i read it yesterday, it doesn't have much of an impact.
i regretted what i've done.
bottling up my feelings and then, blaming the next person which comes in my life.
i feel shallow,
that i used him.
he was jus a way for me to forget another one.
i feel bad now
and i guess Karma hit me pretty badly huh.
i never did told him cos i'm afraid of what he might say.
i'm afraid he might not forgive me.
i'm afraid he would never talk to me.
i'm so sorry.
so tell me, should i come clean?
sigh, i'm lost again.
The day I thought I`d never get through,